Nico Nico Beginner's Class: Sept. 18, 2010

There are many types of jokes. These are called joke genres. For example,
blonde jokes
polish jokes
3 men in an airplane jokes
3 men go to heaven jokes
dead baby jokes
you’re momma jokes

A Blonde's Pain
A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." 

"What do you mean?" said the doctor. 

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts." 

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?" 

"Why yes," she said. 

"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

Heavens Ugliest Women
Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe." 

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen. 

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe. 

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land such a babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?" 

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

Student Insult

If this student were any more stupid,
he'd have to be watered twice a week.


Your momma is so ugly Halloween
was moved to her birthday.

Your momma is so ugly
her shadow gave up.

Your momma is so ugly
that they paid her money
at the zoo NOT to see her.

Your momma is so ugly
even Bill Clinton refused
to sleep with her.
Why do Americans speak so loudly?
Because you can’t hear them when
they wear loud clothes.

So you can hear them above their clothes.