Nico Live English Lesson Jokes - May 31, 2015

Nico Live  English Lesson Jokes - May 31, 2015
a pun ＝親父ギャグ
a frog カエル
a toad  ヒキガエル

1.
Q: What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
A: It’s toad away.

Normal situation:
Q: What happens when a car breaks down?
A: It will be towed.

2.
Q: Why was six scared of seven?
A: Because seven "ate" nine.
7, 8, 9

3. A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.
One student said, "My father grows beans." Another student, “My mother cooks beans.” And little Johnny said, “We are all human beans.”

4. I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

Jokes like these are now considered “politically incorrect”.

5. A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

6. Scientists have discovered a food that will diminish a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It's called a wedding cake.

diminish 小さくなる、減少する、縮小する、下落する

7. Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.


A science joke:
8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.